Toddler

So, my little cupcake is finally a toddler. It started about a month ago as I was getting ready to come back to school. We were visiting her day care provider and she was standing in front of me holding onto a chair. She put one foot in front of the other and then lunged forward. Her first step. Slowly it became 2-3 steps and then: PLOP. She lands on her behind. But, she kept getting back up and trying again. Then one evening I set her on the floor in the restroom and it's suddenly 8 steps in a row. For 3 days after that she didn't take any steps in front of me.

A few days ago, I took her to see my grandparents- or so my grandparents could see her because grandma's bed-ridden these days. But, she couldn't stop walking. She was showing off for them. It's like she was saying, "Look at what I can do." She'd take 10 or so steps abd then: PLOP. But, she got back up and did 10 more.

I can't begin to describe how this really makes me feel. I am so happy I have a daughter who doesn't give up just because she fell down once or twice. On the other hand, I'm not so sure I'm looking forward to raising such an independent child. In either case, my husband better get the house toddler proofed pretty quick- or we're headed for a disaster.

I hate paranoid schizophrenics...

My family was SUPPOSED TO have a yard sale today. So, I got up at 5 AM and got dressed. My hubby took our daughter to his parent's house so they could watch her. We got to my father's house and started setting up. My paranoid schizophrenic brother- Rockey- was being nearly useless as usual. He's bringing stuff out and just putting it everywhere making it even harder to set up. And, he's walking around muttering to himself which is annoying as Hell because he's muttering about setting me on fire for my part in "the atrocity". I'm not really sure what atrocity he's talking about to be honest.

Anyway, I finally told Rockey that either he could spend the day away and my other brother, my hubby, my friend, and I would run the sale and he could have his share at the end of the day. Or, we could leave and it would be him and our brother Adam. He told me that if I left, I didn't get my share. And, anything that I left would be put out to be sold.

It turned into this great shouting match in front of the house at 7 AM. I started taking all my things, and he kept getting in my way. He was purposely trying to get me to hit him so he could have me arrested. Instead, I found a couple really big things to throw- not at my brother as I should have done- just out into the yard. Then I kicked an umbrella- one of those long ones with the point on the end. I kicked it just right so it pierced the wall and stuck.

My friend told him to leave me alone, so he told her to shut the hell up because she was not part of the family and it was none of her business. Needless to say, I really lost it then. (Nobody messes with my daughter's auntie and gets away with it.) Hubby had to restrain me. This is when I got on the phone and called the cops. Of course, Rockey immediately stopped his muttering and left me alone. I got most of my things. Hubby called his dad and he came to get the few things my hubby wanted. While we waited, Rockey's girlfriend came out of the house and called me a 5 year old. She proceeded to call him a child and tell us we need adult supervision.

By this time, the police were here. I told one my story. My brother told the other his story. We agreed that my brother had to stay out of my way until I got everything that was mine out of the house. Needless to say,Rockey has banned me from going to my father's house anymore. But, my other brother evicted him. (That's another blog altogether.)

So, I got a last walk through the house and made sure I took all my stuff. Now, I have to go buy a box of chocolates or something as an apology for the neighbors because one of them woke up and came outside to make sure everything was okay.

Sigh- if he had ignored the voices instead of talking to them about burning me for my involvement in "the atrocity" it would have not gotten to that point. I mean geez- the courts declared him capable of controlling his illness, so he should control it instead of being an a$$ hole about it.

Baby Food Fiasco

Introducing baby to food is no simple task. You give baby a food from the first foods list. She eats that for three days- in addition to her nursing or formula. After three days, you add another food to her menu, and so on until you have all the first foods. Once she is an independent sitter, you move on to second foods, and so on with the developmental stages. Foods like beef and milk products are last foods. So, my daughter is on first foods: sweet potatoes, squash, prunes, peas, apple sauce- all low on the allergen chart and fairly easy to digest.

That said, let me share what happened. My grandmother was babysitting my daughter and her older cousin. While feeding older cousin- pureed vegetable beef stew, my daughter threw a fit. She wants hers, and she wants it now. So what does my grandmother do? She gives it to her- just a little. Do you have any idea what "just a little" can do to a 5 month old? Geez Luis. It's no wonder she had diarrhea that night. The only vegetable in veggie beef soup she has had is carrots. What if she was allergic to beef or onion? I would have taken her to the hospital and had no idea why she was sick.

I know. Grandma didn't do it on purpose. She wouldn't do anything to hurt her. Etc., etc. etc. But, she didn't stop to think and that could have really hurt my daughter. Sigh. I think I'm done now.

Job Status- Typical LAUSD

Typical LAUSD

In March 2009, I was given a RIF notice effective the last day of the school year. Early September 2009, I am rehired. I go immediately out onto maternity leave. Rather than find me a permanent position, I am pooled at Santee Ed. Complex- my school site from the previous school year. They are supposed to find me a position when I come back.

In mid-November, I go back to work. They don't have a permanent position for me somewhere, so I report to Santee every day. I am placed on Track B- which means I am supposed to be on vacation from March 3 to April 4. For a while I tutor to help kids prepare for the CAHSEE. After the CAHSEE, I have nothing to do on most days. March 1, I get to school and the secretary tells me I am not supposed to be there. So, I go and talk to my principal and he shows me this e-mail he got. It says I am supposed to be at a middle school in East L.A. But, nobody told me. He talks to the HR guy and the HR guy says to "hold off on it for now." What the heck does that mean? Where am I supposed to be working? Am I supposed to be going off-track? Where do I go when I go back to work? The worst part is that they could call me at any given time and tell me that I need to report to another school site the next day.

Sigh. I hate it when everything is up in the air.

Adventures in stupidity

So, my brothers and I are slowly dealing with my father's estate. We're sorting his belongings and trying to figure out his finances. On Thursday, I went to the bank to close his accounts, and my brother Adam came with me. Earlier in the day, Adam had gone to the bank to take care of his personal finances. While he was there, the bank manager recognized him and asked him for a copy of my father's death certificate. As he happened to have one, he gave it to her and they started chatting. During said conversation, Adam told the bank manager that we were going to let my father's house go into foreclosure. This is at the bank where my father has a home equity loan. Needless to say, they decided to take my dad's account and put it in a note until we go through probate. And, I'm sitting there looking like an idiot because my brother is stupid enough to tell a bank he doesn't intend to pay the mortgage on the house. Man was I pissed. I seriously almost left him at the bank to find his own way home.

That wasn't the end of it though. Yesterday, he called our brother Brian and asked him for a ride to the bank. He also tells Brian that he needs to go to the bank to make a payment on the loan because he doesn't want them to foreclose on the house yet. I can't begin to say how much this frustrates me. It's not like the foreclosure process only takes a day, a week, or a month. It takes a few months to get through this process. It's not like this is the only bank that has a claim to the house either. He's going to stave off one and ignore the other. And, the other has a MUCH greater claim.

The really stupid thing is that my dad was actually going to list Adam as the Executor of his estate.

What else will I miss?

Last night, Jess was feeding our daughter and she took the spoon away from him and fed herself. Apparently he was going too slow and she was anxious for more of her sweet potatoes. She's never fed herself before. She's taken the spoon to play with it, but she's never actually taken it to feed herself. A bit later, she was chillin' in her bouncer and she sat up. Jess looks away, he looks back, and she's sitting up instead of reclining. Again, something she's never done. And, where was I? In the shower because I have a stupid schedule I have to keep if I want to drive to work in the morning. When my daughter was born I promised her I would be there for her. Her life would not pass us by without me being there. I know it doesn't seem like much, but I wonder what else I will miss. Her first steps? Her first day of school? Her dance recital or soccer game? I can't be that parent who misses their kid's life because they're too busy working.

Done being Wonder Woman!!

I can't remember who it was I was talking to, but somebody told me I needed to take my life back. So, that's what I've decided to do. I am done carrying the emotional burden. I am done being the mediator. I am done being a mommy to two grown men. I am done putting other people first. I am done being Wonder Woman. And, it feels good.

This weekend, I spent time with my hubby and daughter. I visited my grandparents. I went to Build-a-bear and the Cheesecake factory as part of our annual V-Day celebration. I went to my Weight Watchers meeting. I visited my brother and his wife and I got to meet my 3 week-old niece. I went shopping, went to church, and got a massage. And, I slept in.

Not once did I go to my father's house. Not once did I worry about the estate and how my brothers were going to get along. I didn't play the mediator or the responsible sibling. I decided it's time for them to take responsibility for their share. It's time for them to step up and grow up.

Wonder Woman feels rejuvenated. She feels like a better mom, sister, granddaughter, and wife. She feels strong, empowered, rested, and much happier. She feels like Wonder Woman again.

What's the one thing Wonder Woman doesn't do?

Wonder Woman does it all. She takes care of her sick infant and her sick hubby. She gets the laundry done and still goes to work at a high school in South Central LA- 60+ miles from where she lives. She deals with her father's estate, a Paranoid Schizophrenic brother who has a paranoid Schizophrenic girlfriend, and a 35 year old brother who hasn't grown up yet. And, she's on her HOA board. She does all
this and still finds time for things like going to her friend's daughter's sweet 16 surprise party. And, she does it all while she's sick too. She is the best friend, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, cousin, mom, and wife you could ask for.


What's the one thing Wonder Woman doesn't do? She doesn't take care of
herself. Wonder Woman doesn't have the time to track points and go to WW
meetings. She doesn't have the time to go to the gym, cook healthy meals,
or even get 8 hours of sleep a night.



Wonder Woman is at her breaking point.
I think it's time for Wonder Woman to retire.
Or, is it possible for Wonder Woman to find the time to take care of
herself?