Soul Searching and Finding a rhythm in our lives

It’s almost January 1. That means it’s time for a resolution. Really? Do I have to make one? The answer is yes. Why? Because the new year is the chance for a fresh start. I know. We can have a fresh start any time of year really if we wanted to. Why not a Spring Resolution or a February Resolution? Sometimes we do that. But, it seems to me- especially as a teacher- that this is the best time to make it. We have just gotten through a month of splurging and (often) downright gluttony. For teachers, we have been on vacation for 2 weeks, and it’s back to the grindstone. The New Year is a chance to find the rhythm in our lives again. And, as we rediscover the rhythm that is our lives, make changes for the better. Maybe you want your life to be a little more upbeat, or maybe you need it to be a little more like Kenny G. In any case, you need to start with some soul searching. What do you really need-or not need- in your life? Then, you need to figure out how to get it done. Last year, I made a resolution and I actually kept it. It’s the first time in 30 years that I kept a resolution. I resolved that I was going to make good with my in-laws. It was only slightly dramatic. I went to their home, talked to them, apologized, and voila. After a little more than five years of incredibly intense not talking, we’re good. I still haven’t spoken with my sister-in-law, but that isn’t as important to me as my hubby’s parents. I can’t begin to tell you how good it felt to make that resolution and then do it. My relationship with my hubby is better; my daughter loves her Be-Bah and Me-Mah; I get to participate in their family functions; The best part? A huge emotional weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My resolution this year? Well, I have two: a. write in my blog weekly (at least) b. Write the first six chapters of my book. What will I get out of these resolutions? They’re really about being me again. I love writing. It’s good for my soul. It lets me get things out that need to get out. Or, it helps me think through things that need to be thought through. Alright. Done. Resolutions made. Now that I’ve made the resolutions, I need to figure out how to make them a priority.

I look beautiful; I feel beautiful.

With 1 more pound, I will have lost 150 lbs. from my maximum weight and 90 lbs. from surgery. That is a huge accomplishment. It's the first goal Dr. Billy set for me- informally. But, it's not my overall goal. At the very least, I want to lose 11 more pounds. Ideally, I would like to lose 26 more pounds.

The sad thing- the really sad thing- is that I don't look at those numbers and wonder how I got there. I know exactly how and why I got there. It all boils down to 1 fact. There were a whole lot of things that happened to me when I was younger that made me HATE myself as a person.

So what has all that weight loss gotten me? No more Diabetes, Sleep Apnea, PCOS symptoms, or Hypertension. It's given me a chance to take Physical Therapy to improve my knee pain. It's given me a better relationship with my hubby and made me a better mama.

I still have much work to do, but I am so proud of myself and thankful for the people around me. For the first time in my life I look beautiful; I feel beautiful.